People always say that motherhood is magical and there’s nothing quite like it, and while that may be true, motherhood is also one of the most challenging experiences in life. Of course, there are countless moments that bring you joy and happy tears (believe me, I know this, and I am beyond blessed to be a Mama to my sweet son). But with all those moments, there are also moments that test your patience, moments that make you feel like a failure, moments that make you feel alone.
Also read: Must haves for baby’s first year.
Sometimes motherhood is the loneliest job. I mean obviously, you’re not really alone, you spend every hour of every day with a tiny human that doesn’t leave your side (not even for your bathroom breaks). But adults need interaction with other adults. You can only have so many conversations with your little one about Mickey Mouse (Mee-mow is how little M pronounces it) and picking up toys (a constant battle) before you start feeling like you’re losing it.
“Being a stay-at-home mom was the loneliest kind of lonely, in which she was always and never by herself.” -Barbara Kingsolver
The sad part is though, that as moms, making friends does not come easy. You feel so busy you don’t even have time to go out and make friends! And when you do meet other moms, you’re not sure where to go from there.
You would think that having kids just automatically gives you something in common with all the other moms, but there’s so much more to it! To arrange a simple play date, you have to coordinate naptimes, your kid has to be in a good mood, heaven forbid that someone is teething or missed a nap! And even if all of those things line up, you still have to worry about a ton of details to make sure the play date is successful.
This is just for a play date, where your main focus is on the kids! I think even more effort is required for planning a friends date without kids! You have to arrange childcare (hopefully your hubby is available!), make sure everyone’s needs are met before you leave, make sure the schedule is set up and easy to follow, etc.
Since becoming a mother, I have oftentimes experienced loneliness. It got to the point where I just hated trying to make plans with someone, because more often than not, plans fell through, and I was left feeling disappointed and even more lonely. Now of course, I have some amazing friends that pulled through no matter what, and I’m so grateful for them. But needless to say, my “circle of friends” became significantly smaller after I had my son. And I guess I understand, those friends that are still single or still childless, they might feel like they no longer have anything in common with me. Or maybe I talked about my kid too much and that pushed them away (in which case, I apologize, but since I spend almost every waking minute with him, he’s my main topic of conversation). I had a few mom friends that I loved connecting with in Sacramento, but since we moved to Southern California, I’ve had a hard time finding those kind of connections again. I’m trying to work on it though!
The point of my little “rant” is that, as moms, we have to stick together, and lift each other up. We have to be each other’s support, lend a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on. We have to let each other know that we are all in this together!
If you’re in a tough stage of motherhood right now, read 10 Perks of Being a Stay at Home Mom
This is probably 98% of all my photos with him. Camera comes out and he’s like “nope”. Social media usually only gets to see the “good” 2%.